Hormonal Imbalance

That's all I can describe what I am going through right now. I don't know it's even an imbalance, its just affecting my mood. PMS, only it's Post Menstrual Syndrome. I am on CD9 as of today and on this cycle day for the past 3 months I have noted emotional on my chart.Its the same emotion too, just a sudden mood drop. Not a bad mood, just really feeling down and sorry for myself.

It looks as though my body is gearing up to O on CD14 again, like last month. DH's SA is tomorrow. I have second thoughts about having it right before O, for two reasons. First, it kind of cuts in a bit on our timing, and second for not doing it is that I don't want to feel hopeless before BDing. This SA will probably give us a solid diagnosis. If numbers go up, then the fever is the culprit but if they don't then it's male factor infertility (as far as we know, it could be me too but we haven't done the testing yet).

We haven't discussed yet, or thought much yet, about what we're going to do if we do need to see an RE and if we do decide to participate in ART. I think partially because we don't want to get ahead of ourselves, partially denial that we are having problems. It weighs on me, but it's something I will force myself to think about after this weekend.

I really feel the need for some time off to sort through some feelings. I've been so busy with work lately, I really need some time to decompress. It might just fit in with some plans before we decide to go through with ARTs, or perhaps a second babymoon (which might be a bad thing considering the first one delayed O, which we likely missed).

*sigh*
I just feel so stretched, so thinly spread. I'm so tired.