I find out in a few days if I have been blessed with your conception. It will have been 10 months now since we've been praying for you.
I feel awful. My breasts are sore, going to the bathroom more, I'm even having cravings, for green olives of all things! However, I'm scared to be hopeful every nauseous feeling or twinge or flutter I feel in my stomach. Every symptom makes me think of you.
So long I have dreamt of you, so many tears I have shed because it just wasn't time yet. I am afraid to hope it is you because I don't think my heart can be glued back together if I am wrong this time. Too many times already my mind, my body has played these cruel tricks on me.
April 19th, 2010