Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Dog Faced Infant

Last night I had a rather unusual dream. It was also the first baby or birth dream that I have experienced since becoming pregnant. I think it must have been a morphing of two dreams because the way it started is fuzzy and unrelated to how it ended. I was on some spiritual journey through a mall. I could hear a woman talking to me, someone I felt was a higher being. At this point, all I recall is that everyone was taken from me and I was encouraged by this voice to repent or something, but I didn’t understand because at no point did I feel guilt over anything or felt I did anything wrong; that the only way to get back to them was to feel sorry.

At this point it was probably the most vivid, yet somewhat disturbing part of the dream. Apparently I had been in labor, but didn’t realize it as I was walking. I felt a strange sensation and stopped at this metal railing and squatted. In front of me was a river of water, a part of a fountain made with light colored tile and was lit, making light ripples and shadows on the wall behind it. As I squatted, I gave birth to my baby. There was no blood, just kind of a gooey jelly. The baby’s head had the characteristics of a dog, the snout, the floppy ears, but no fur. I smiled, and kissed the snout, and was calm as if I didn’t realize it didn’t look like an infant. Suddenly everyone appears and I hand off the child who is then circulated among the group of family who all cooed and oh’d and ah’d at the child.

The whole time, during this dream I am switching back and forth between 1st and 3rd person. I was in the 3rd person when I saw myself hold up the baby and kiss it. I kept thinking, why do I not see myself concerned about the baby. Why does the baby have the face of a dog and why does no one else seem to care or notice either? I cannot see the baby as it is being passed around, until it is returned to me. At this point I am 1st person again, and concerned what everyone thinks of my dog faced baby. When the child is returned to me, it is a normal infant. That is when I woke up, totally perplexed yet calm.

So, of course I head to my favorite dream dictionary to try and gain some understanding of what my subconscious is trying to tell me.

To see calm, clear water in your dream means that you are in tune with your spirituality. It denotes serenity, peace of mind, and rejuvenation.

To dream that you are giving birth to a non-human creature signifies your overwhelming (and unfounded) fear in the health of your baby. You are overly concerned that your baby may have birth defects. This type of dream is common in expectant mothers in their second trimester.

To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success. The dream dog may also represent someone in your life who exhibits these qualities.

I think every expectant mother has an underlying worry about something being wrong with her baby, and I am no exception. I will admit I try not to give it too much thought. I have faith in God that I will not be given any more than I can handle and I feel confident that I have done all I humanly can to give the best start to my child. If something happens, then we will deal with it when it comes. However, it is comforting to know that this dream is not uncommon, and it does happen to fall near the end of my second trimester.

The rest of the symbols are also comforting. The whole dream had an underlying theme of inner spirituality. Upon reflecting, it seems as though it reflects important aspects of my expectations (and naivety) of birth. The woman’s voice is the guidance of my midwife or doula during the process. The journey alone being my own normal introverted response, being that I seek strength within. The water is symbolizing serenity and rebirth. The dog face infant and the reaction (or lack of) by myself and everyone else makes me feel confident that no matter what happens, my baby and I will bond, and will be accepted by the most important people in my life. I think it also highlights my underlying fear of not being accepted, which is why I was so concerned with why I wasn’t upset.

Wild, huh?

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