Sea Monkey Stats - 14 weeks

How far along? 13 weeks

Weight? Holding in at 118.5

Symptoms? fatigue!!, morning sickness!, constipation!, headaches

Maternity clothes? Few shirts at Kohl's Junior section that work as maternity, or mid-maternity. This tunic and this tunic

Nursery Purchases? 1st outfit we bought sea monkey. Really cute teddy bear set with onesie, pants and a hat

Stretch marks? No

Sleep? yes please! Still wanting lots, but not napping as much

Best moment this week?First Midwife Appointment

Movement? Occasionally I feel fluttering, but nothing like the strong movement I felt last week

Food cravings? Steak from Texas Roadhouse. Finally got some for lunch today.

What I miss? Nothing ATM! Enjoying pregnancy

What I'm looking forward to? Morning sickness easing up a bit more

Milestones? nothing really

Emotions? Been getting frustrated with morning sickness. I had it really bad Saturday after I decided to forgot Unisom the previous night. I ended up waking up at 4am and made myself some mac and cheese, then shortly after threw it up. I went back to bed and got up and had breakfast and felt energetic enough to do some yard work. Then after my shower I got sick again and felt miserable the rest of the day. DH convinced me to take a Unisom early and today I am feeling better after sleeping off and on for about 18 hours.

Welcome to 15 Weeks

Sea Monkey Stats - 11 weeks

How far along? 11 weeks

Symptoms? fatigue, morning sickness, constipation

Maternity clothes? Yes, Be Band and an occasional tank top. For the past few weeks I have been wearing a pair of DH's jeans, lol. Most other Maternity size clothes are too large. I figure I'll pick up what I need as I need them in the future

Nursery Purchases? Went to pick up the crib but ended up with our car seat.

Stretch marks? No

Sleep? I found out that without the Unisom, I can't sleep and my morning sickness starts in the morning instead of the evening.

Best moment this week?I have two this week. First, seeing sea monkey again was amazing, especially after my scare which I'll mention later. Second, my best friend IRL just found out she is also pregnant. We have laughed and dreamed about the possibilities of being pregnant together, and it happened.

Movement? None I can feel yet

Food cravings? None really. I've not felt well enough to really crave anything

What I miss? Nothing, really.

What I'm looking forward to? First appointment with the midwife

Milestones? Graduating from the RE practice

Emotions? Some days I still feel amazed that I am pregnant, and it's really exciting. Some days I feel like time is moving too slowly, but I know that will happen until the day I realize that we don't have enough time left, lol.

Kicking the Unisom habit didn't turn out so well. I tried it the evening I ran out, which was also the night before my RE appointment. I slept for maybe 4 hours that night and when I got to work that next morning I got acquainted with the porcelain goddess. Dr.Puzzle sent with me a prescription for Zofran, which does help a bit but not like Unisom does.

As for the mishap earlier in the week, I did something really stupid. I was patching some drywall above our light switch, which included me taking the cover off. I was jiggling the switch and touched one of the live wires. I was grounded and it was just a little shock but it scared me and made me realize I need to be much more careful about what I do that could affect the baby. I was worried what might happen but came to my senses. I try to be practical. There is no sense in worrying about it now. What's done is done and I will deal with it after the RE appointment. Seeing sea monkey dancing and trying to suck their thumb, well it brought me to tears. It was such a relief.

For your enjoyment, Sea Monkey at 11 weeks



Welcome to 12 Weeks

Making Up For Lost Time?

If you recall, last month I was really frustrated about my cycle.

This month seems to be taking a dramatic turn of events, perhaps making up for lost time last month? I'm not complaining, seriously very happy about feeling back to normal. My signs are about 5 days early though, so it's throwing me off a bit.

I'm thinking of starting OPKs earlier, perhaps in the next day or two depending on the rest of my signs.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Me and my two loves

DH and I celebrated Valentine's Day yesterday since my sister was bring over her LO, who is 4. DH is so great with her, which left time for my sister and I to catch up (and for me to work on her computer). The 4 of us ate a heart shaped pizza for dinner.

The day before, DH and I did some shopping and had dinner with my parents. How romantic, yes I know. We've been celebrating all week really, just doing little things for each other. DH surprised me with flowers on Friday and I surprised him with an edible arrangement on Saturday.



Cycle Update
I'm currently on week 3, or 9DPO. My temps are sporadic, and never really established so its really hard to tell how the cycle is going. I'm maintaining cautious optimism. The Dr gave us a 15% chance of conceiving with DH's numbers and if my hormones are playing around with me this month, then I'm sure that's even lower. After all we're already at a bit of a disadvantage because of needing to watch our timing and getting a + OPK 2 days early.

I've been getting twitches in my lower abdomen lately, which is hopeful yet confusing. I'm trying really hard not to read too much into things. My bbs are starting to get a bit sore and I've been wanting to go to bed earlier every day, but other than that I've not felt anything special. No PMS even, but the week is still young.

To keep my days sane, I am attempting to not chart my temperature until the evening, before I go to bed. I'll take it in the morning still, but I won't check the thermometer until I go to bed. That way I can get out the emotion, get some sleep, and then feel hopeful in the morning. I'll report back my findings, and if I'll be doing it again. I'm going to do some research on my charts to determine would be the best time to start it. I'll have to check when my cycle temps start to get rocky. I'm thinking of starting it tomorrow, but since I have the day off I'm not sure that I can resist. :)

Ah yes, I also got the "are you" question today from my sister. We were talking about vitamins. I told her I was taking a prenatal at night and she interrupted me with a, "because you want to or because you have to" inquiry. LOL! Well, I've been taking them for a year now...

A Not So Wordless Wednesday About Roller Coasters

This is going to be a not so wordless Wednesday post. I do vow to start doing this, whatever is on my mind at the time will get "pictureized" and put here. It may or may not be TTC related, but more than likely will. I've set the alarm on my phone to remind me to blog since I'm not doing it regularly and I should.

If you haven't noticed by the ticker at the top, I've started a new cycle. The cycle that was so promising ended in disaster a day earlier than expected. I knew Friday, when my temp started to take a dive, that I was in for the roller coaster. What I didn't know was that the witch would show up early. My LP has never been any more or less than 15 days until the past two cycles. Last one was 14, previous one was 16. I think I much prefer the earlier one, truth be told.

I thought I handled it well, but it turns out that perhaps I was mistaken. The day that my temp started to fall, I called my mother and decided to do some bonding and get my mind off things. Well, it worked. The problem is, I didn't deal with the situation, I just put it off. So, instead a few days later after the euphoria wore off (from how well I handled the outcome and how proud I was of the dress I made) I quickly rolled down the steep hill of the roller coaster.

You see, I come to find that the first inklings of a lost cycle is like going up and down bunny hills of a roller coaster. But once you're about to find out for sure that the cycle is lost (either AF arrives or you know she's arriving soon) it's like you're sitting atop the highest peak of the roller coaster, right as it's about to plummet down the tracks. I was there Friday, and Saturday, and Sunday....you get the picture. I didn't realize I was still up there, teetering on the edge until I realized yesterday that I was beginning to fall. And my first thought, "Oh, shit".

Its been dragged out, which makes coping a lot worse. When I am hindered from expressing the full range of emotions at my own pace, then I can't get them all out and I am forced to deal with it a lot longer. So it looks like I'll have to deal with the roller coaster each month.

However something has come to my attention lately that I am not sure how to deal with. I really do try my best not to let my mood affect other people. When I am feeling down or grouchy, I usually go into hiding. However my husband is the only one that really has to deal with me in hiding on a regular basis. (I'm sorry honey, but I really do try not to take my bad mood out on you or turn you into a grouch.) Friday I went into hiding, even from him. I didn't communicate well with him and some things about that didn't surface until yesterday during an argument.

He feels guilty about us not getting pregnant yet. He feel guilty that he puts me through this roller coaster every month. He hates seeing me like this, but feels helpless to do anything about it. I'm torn. I feel bad because I feel like I've been selfish in feeling like I'm in this alone and that he doesn't understand. But I know I'd never know unless he told me or showed me that he was in pain. I also feel guilty because I feel like if I were a stronger person I wouldn't be so easily upset and then I could protect him from that pain. But, I'm not a stronger person, I feel these emotions and I don't know how to deal with the knowledge that I'm now causing him pain because I am in pain.

Obsession

Ah yes, I have been obsessing. I'm in my 2WW, little more than half way through, and I've just about worn out the chart overlay button on http://www.fertilityfriend.com

Yesterday I had a dip of a half a degree and this morning it was right back up, classic signs of an implantation dip. I also had some minor achy and crampy feelings last night while we were at the football game. They were bad enough that I wish I had brought some Tylenol and that I wasn't standing most of the game.

The only thing that does concern me about today's temp was that I didn't go to bed until about 2am and we realized that the house temp was set much higher than normal (almost 10 degrees since we drop it down when we sleep), then the cat woke us up at 4:30 and I was so hot that I had a hard time getting back to sleep. So I had 4 hours of interrupted sleep before I took my temperature. I'm not sure if that would give me a higher or lower than usual reading. It is noted on my chart but it is driving me crazy! I want to go to bed and wake up in the morning so I can get a more accurate reading. The only down side to that, is well tomorrow is Monday. :(

As for signs and symptoms, I have reverted back to how I was before I started TTC and charting. I rarely ever had any PMS/Pregnancy symptoms. I was always tired during the 2WW, but never realized it was related to the progesterone. I never had sore breasts or mood swings or bloating or anything like that. Usually exactly 7 days before AF I would have a bout of irritability, then sometimes I would feel down or be more sensitive. So my chart has been pretty bare, and I'm currently at 7DBAF (Days Before AF) and no signs of irritability or sadness. The only thing that's been a little unusual is the cramping I've been feeling. Whenever I get cramps, it's usually w/i hours of AF arriving.

So FX and *babydust* for me for a BFP. If temperatures are still high tomorrow, then I'll probably test before DH's SA this week, but even then it might be too soon for a positive.

Soy Isoflavones

Another experiment on the docket for this month.

Soy Isoflavones are what's considered a phyoestrogen. Soy, and several other plants, contain these chemicals that trick the body into thinking it is not producing estrogen, thus producing more. This bumps up FSH which affects the maturation of follicles (which ripen the egg).

In general, soy is recommended to be avoided during conception because it can affect the balance of estrogen in the body. However, studies have shown that a short burst of soy isoflavones can help boost ovulation. It works similar to how the fertility drug Clomid works, and even taken similarly. For several good follicle development take during CD1-5, for one large follicle take CD5-9, or for a mix of the two, take for 5 days starting between CD1-5. The dose that I am taking is probably considered pretty light, 80mg a day. There is not official dosage for this use although I have heard 2 days on 80mg and then 3 days on 160mg but have also heard it up to 100 and 200mg.

Soy isoflavones can be found in the supplement section of pharmacies or health food stores. I went to 4 pharmacies and found it at 1, Walmart of all places. I did find a version at all 4 for menopause, which is the usual treatment.

I am currently on day 4 of 5 and I must say that I am glad I am ending this on a weekend. I didn't think that I was experiencing any side effects until they were in full bloom on Friday. It was just your typical everyday PMS issues, but they were rather unexpected. Headache, fatigue, emotional sensitivity, carbohydrate cravings/chocolate.

Oh yeah and BTW, this is just my experience. I'm not in the medical field. The stuff I try is just stuff I have found through research online.

New Signs

I've had a few signs that have me both a little excited and curious. Pelvic fullness, lower abdominal soreness, cramping, and a triphasic shift in my chart. These are new signs in addition to the headaches (that come and go, but seem to come more often this month), sore boobs, slight and unpredictable nausea/queasiness that somehow have cropped up now every month now that I am officially TTC. Seriously, my PMS used to be easy peasy, just some irritability exactly 1 week before AF showed and some bad cramping the day of. So, what's the deal with that? Maybe I am TOO in tune with my body.

Anyway, back to the signs at hand. The one sign I am most excited about is a triphasic shift...and actual triphasic shift. I'm sure that I've spoken about it. I always seem to get a temp spike around implantation, but it's just 1 day and it back down or falling. This time around I actually possess 3 days of a sustained 3rd shift in temperatures in one month. The official definition is .3 change after 7 days post ovulation where the temperature is sustained for at least 3 days. I am gloating. Bask in the glory of my chart (under the links). A triphasic chart, while not a sound early predictor of pregnancy, fertilityfriend.com determined that only 12% of charts were considered triphasic and 80% of those deamed such were later found to be in possession of the much coveted BFP.

You know what they say though, the bigger they are, the harder they fall...Will my dreams be crushed? Stay tuned to find out.

Signs

This week has been a roller coaster so far. That's sad considering it is only Wednesday morning.

To say I had a bad day yesterday would be putting it politely. I'm sorry if anyone was in the way of my wrath. The day started out fine but it got worse as the day went on, eventually peaking shortly after getting home.

It wasn't until about 2 hours later that it dawned on me that it was exactly 1 week before AF would be arriving. My main PMS symptom is like clockwork, irritability always arriving exactly 7 days before. Upon that realization I felt two things, dumb and depressed. Dumb because I hadn't seen what was happening until hours later. I almost smacked myself on the forehead when I figured it out. Depressed because hell, it's PMS symptom, I couldn't be pregnant then. I was sure that my BBT would be heading down.

But, it didn't. Instead my temp was up .20 from yesterday and breaks my usual peaks and valleys pattern (a link to my chart is in my sidebar). And now I am hopeful. And now I also realize that it really was stupid to think I wouldn't get my usual PMS symptoms. I thought it was a side effect of increasing estrogen, but maybe it's a withdrawal from estrogen. If it is a withdrawal, then I would be experiencing it even if I were in the early stages of pregnancy.

So that brings up the signs of early pregnancy....you know fatigue, nausea, headaches, sore boobs, etc. What signs are important to chart and which are not? I've been having some problems rectifying this. It seems like every symptom I am having, I can justify a reason. Headache is caused by tension in my shoulders, or the frequent urination is from the Vitamin B Complex I've been taking, or even that I'm irritable because I am tired and hungry (low blood sugar). Now, that last one I did deem hormonal, but I was feeling a bit better after eating dinner and getting a cuddle from DH.

I have been charting some symptoms, but I am not always so quick to associate every little thing I am feeling with early pregnancy. Perhaps I should, but I think I'm doing it to protect myself from the letdown when AF shows. I'm just not sure what symptoms to chart anymore.

Creamy CM After Ovulation?

Did you know it can be a sign of pregnancy??? I didn't!

TTC Anxiety

I wrote a bit ago how frustrating the TWW could be when TTC. It seems to drag on for a long time. I just entered into the period of time where I could POAS with an early HPT test, however every day that passes decreases the chance of getting a false negative (sometimes the pregnancy hormone isn't detectable early, or doesn't make it to the urine).

I've been experiencing some queasiness, some days are good and some are bad but I do experience this feeling every day now. I had a bit of a neurotic scare yesterday because my temperature dropped .3 of a degree and I was feeling fantastic physically. I was not feeling well emotionally though because I had almost convinced myself that I wasn't pregnant. I didn't feel at all bad until around the time I headed home. I spent a whole day worrying for nothing because my temperature went back up and today I'm feeling pretty ill.

So why, if I am experiencing these symptoms and torturing myself with not having a yes or no, don't I take a HPT?? Well that's a perfectly good question with probably not such a good answer from an emotional woman. After the reaction from yesterday, I think at this point I don't know that I could take the heartache of another BFN. I know it's not been that long since we agreed to start a family but I think I've gotten carried away these past few weeks day dreaming about a baby bump and how we're going to tell everyone.

So, when will I actually break down and POAS? I'm not sure. It could be tomorrow morning (higher concentration of hormone that way), or I might wait until AF decides not to show. If I continue to feel worse as the days go, it'll definitely be sooner than later. I can handle feeling bad, but only if it is for a good reason.

Symptoms...PMS or Pregnancy?

The problem with early pregnancy symptoms is that most of them are the same for any other stomach ailment or PMS. I have a few PMS symptoms that I experience every cyle, primarily depressed feelings or sadness for a day or two, mood swings, and craving for chocolate. They always occur almost exactly 1 week before, on the dot.

However a few things have been occurring which are a bit unusual for PMS.
1. Cat has been clingy. He's normally a cuddle kitty but he's found a new favorite spot, my stomach. He usually clings to me in the morning, and DH in the evening, but he's all but ignoring DH now. He sleeps with me, cuddles with me on the couch, and watches me drive away. I know animals can sense things before we can, so maybe I should take these changes into consideration.

2. Increased appetite. Not only am I eating more, but I am eating faster too. About 30 minutes before my normally scheduled meals, I'll get really hungry. It doesn't grow, it just hits me that I feel starving. I also get hungry on my way home even though I have an afternoon snack at work. I've also had cravings, the latest being butter cookies.

3. Temperature increase. I have noticed that I have what is called a triphasic pattern on my BBT chart. I have a third increase in temperatures. They are holding steady, which differs from the last cycle

4. Upset stomach. This might be related to allergies, but I am not sure. I noticed that my stomach is more sensitive lately. When I get up in the morning my stomach does not feel well. Its not what I would consider nausea, but it is an unusual feeling. I also feel this way before I eat.

5. Weird smells/tastes. I have noticed that some things smell differently, or I have weird tastes in my mouth. On the way home from lunch I was commenting to a friend that my stomach was upset and I was going to take some tums. Then I had a weird taste in my mouth similar to the tums aftertaste. Then when I did have a tums it made me feel really sick. I managed to swallow it down but I've never had that problem before. The same thing happened with dinner. I've made it before but this time I thought it smelled disgusting while DH thought it smelled good.

6. Fatigue. I have pretty bad fatigue lately. I try not to take naps because they take too long and then they mess with my sleep schedule so I'll go to bed at 2 or 3am and be up a few hours later for work. When I do take naps they are almost always 2 hours exactly. The past 2 I have taken have been closer to 4, and that is with a full night's sleep and they haven't been disturbing my bedtime.

I will mention that I've noticed several signs of depression or other medical conditions prior to even possibly being pregnant this cycle, and made an appointment with my doctor to discuss them. These symptoms I've listed above have either popped up in the past week or have gotten worse while my mood has actually lightened considerably. However I am also not blind to think that these could also play into depression.

Because of school starting and an increase in appointments for immunizations and physicals my appointment had to be scheduled a week out. The appointment was early this week and I was ordered to have some blood work done to rule out anemia, thyroid, and blood sugar issues. All came back normal and my doctor is diagnosing me with depression and wrote me a prescription with strict rules not to take it if I am pregnant.

Many people consider it too early to even have pregnancy related symptoms, as much of the medical information out there says the symptoms should not manifest until 4 or 6 weeks of pregnancy. So, who knows if they are really pregnancy related, or psychosomatic, or PMS, or what. We'll find out in the next few weeks!